Gramps.

My grandfather, Mom’s father, passed to the Other Side today. As I shed my tears I hold comfort in knowing that he truly lived such a full life. He touched and inspired hundreds, probably thousands of people and still continues to do so. He has many grandchildren and we all love him deeply and strive to carry on his legacy and to be a fraction of the character he embodied. He was a teacher and Hall of Fame high school wrestling coach. He was always so happy and playful and ornery. As much as I will miss him, I rejoice in his sweet release. He was very sick for a couple of years, deteriorating from a Parkinson’s related disease. At the end of his life, I know he was in pain and unhappy. It was so awful and sad to see him in such a state and I know that now he can be free and fly with the eagles he loved so much. I have felt him releasing this life over the past few days. I truly knew this was the time. Although we were a thousand miles apart, my love for him held a strong intuitive bond. Now we are no longer apart, he is with us all in Spirit and lives on through those that he inspired and all our love for him. He used to call me Kalester and bop me on the top of my head. There was always so much laughter with him, but he knew how to command respect. He was the man who inspired a lasting love for karaoke in me (: and for that I am grateful:). I will hold my memories with him close to my heart. The last time I saw him, he was not communicating well. He was barely able to form coherent words. He met my son Link on that trip and he said his name. And he said Espynn. He knew my boys and although it was so hard for him to communicate I could see the love and understanding in his eyes. That is such a precious memory to me. ❤ What a wonderful man. He is survived by his wife and 4 children and his 13 grand children and 3 great-grand children (and another on the way, congrats to my sister <3). Don Adair, may your legacy live on. You are so loved and will be missed. I rejoice that you are no longer in a painful state of limbo. You are FREE. See your legacy and be as proud of it as we all are. ❤ ❤ ❤ I will  see you again, my friend.

The Blame Game

There’s no time to hold blame, no

Time to tame the same Struggle she had from whence she came

It’s no pain or double there’s a fine line, a shy shame

Hiding in the the rubble of relationships; from past days, insane

A sorrow pushed behind a name,

The Name of her True Love, there’s trouble,

They’re using those rude names.

She owns it, she knows it, she rules it, she runs it.

It beats her, that cheats her, she takes it he breaks it.

The stubble on his face and dark eyes he’d claim

It’s because she won’t take it, won’t make it, you’ll see

She’s trying to fake it all day, the plain fray

Her heart sang but never again, in a hustle

To shut down this game full of muscle and bubbles

A stone frame shows no gain in the puddle;

Her brain no rabble, knows babble, a baby

So maybe she hates her same name or this pain game with no gain,

Or the answer, the riddle, the inside of a dark cage

A damp cave, the Death Plague,

Reach down into the center and grasp change

The supple and inventive creation

Acceptance of lovers a self-serving drum roll

The Finale, a finishing touch of love or hate she can’t wait

That lost state of hopeless fate another day too late

Uncovered a lost state, a bliss gate

Not seeking acceptance, approval or holy plates

She is a Holy Place, her whole face, abundant.

She was looking the wrong way, succumbing

Now recovering, reclaiming that sacred soil within

A death to precede the rebirth is so worth

The price paid, the hate laid, the blame said

It’s over.